I have a one week seminar, it was really got damned fantastic. All theme were my favorite ones. The people in seminar were also awesome, crityze, and so young. Most of them are germany, just me and one another girl come from other countries. They teached me a lot about germany cultures.
My friend, a boy, who are very attractive, so loud, rebel, funny, party goer, and womanizer, must to leave from our appartement. He is my apartement mate, i could say now, he was. I was very sad, when I knew he have to leave, because of the landlord said that. He just a real friend for me here. He is a half greece and a half germany, and first we met, we just like astonished each other. He, with his Greek, and I, with my headscarf. We both are working in social field, we both like cleanliness, we both love to make a joke, we both are cheeky, we just matched to be friend. But we argued so oft too, just like normal.
One day, he tried to hug me, because we didn’t meet just 3 days, but I avoided him,
I said ‘don’t hug me!‘,
he said ‘you are really strange!‘.
But it’s true, I don’t like it, just unusual for me. In Indonesia, I’m never hugging a boy or a man, also I didn’t do it with my father or elder brother. But, in germany, 3 boys just grabbed me to try to hug me. It’s a culture of greeting. One boy come from spain, at first we introduced each other, he just hugged me, but luckly, he just could reach my head. He is bigger and taller than me, very tall. So, I say, it wasn’t hug. The second boy was my appartement mate, but he wasn’t the one, who I said before. He just hugged me but with friendly face, and I used a very very thick jacket, and was just 1 second. I say, it just my hands reached his shoulder, and his too.
Go back to my seminar’s friends. In the last day of our seminar, I had a snack talk with a few of them. We talked about the distance of communication. I mean, how long distance that we have to keep, when we talk with friends, strangers, or just some familiar. The girls said that, they don’t like the boys or girls who taked their face so nearly by talk. So I told them about my experience here, about hug or kiss of greeting in between boys and girls.One of them said, it just up to the personal of the boys or the girls. It isn’t germany cultures or so. One of them told her experience, her friend introduced her a boy, and in the same day, they were going home together, just like normal they did a ritual of greeting, which is hug, but suddenly the boy kissed my friend too, in mouth, but it was just really kiss of friend, mean nothing. My friend was really shock, because she isn’t the type who is very enjoyable with this.
My appartement mate who is a girl and come from china, said that we have to keep 1 metre distance, when we talk with friends. My another appartement mate, who I said at first, was really love to talk with 5cm distance, and it was nervous me. When we talked, I just try very very hard to avoid him with 1m distance or more, but sometimes it didn’t work.
But, at friday afternoon, the day that he moved from our appartement, he just grabbed my hand, said a commonly words when friends taked appart, and he also said ‘say to A, B, give a kiss for them. And esp. for A give my hug too‘, and he reversed his body and looked at me again.
‘oh, come here!‘ I said, and I just hugged him, he just shocked, but happy in sadness.
I don’t know why I did it. But, I think, based on our relationship without think of my religon, it’s just ok, to hug a boy who a real friend, in a special situation, and the important thing is we didn’t have passion to do that. It’s just natural.
But clearly, hugs and kisses are meaning something, when we did it with someone who gives us butterfly in stomach, isn’t it?
-Sunday, February 6, 2011-